Stinky Kid

It seems that the “Norms” are finally wising up to something that we Stinkies have known for centuries, and although a public apology has not yet been heard for the years of judgment and “Ewww”-ing, we are sure that one is forthcoming.

According to Austrian lung specialist Dr. Friedrich Bischinger, picking your nose and eating what you find is one of the best (and most inexpensive) ways of staying healthy. The doc goes on to say that people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthier, happier and probably better in-tune with their bodies. “With the finger you can get to places you just can’t reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner,” adds Dr. Bischinger.

“Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine. Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free.  I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well.”

Top Stinkologist Josh Greenboog predicts a 1.2% increase in booger eaters in the next 5 years, making this a great day for Stinky Kids everywhere, and ensuring a brighter future for our Stinky Children.   Said Greenboog, “This is something that has been known in the Stinky Science community for  a long time, and we have been trying to convince these assholes for years!  While of course we are glad that the Norm public is now aware of this important health issue, it kinda pisses us off, that they didn’t listen to us and are now taking credit for this  groundbreaking research.   However, I have to wonder about this Dr.  Bischinger.  With all this talk of boogers being easier to reach with the finger, we here at Stink Tech are wondering if he isn’t an Austrian ‘Closet Wafter’, that is to say, a Stinky Kid who has not yet revealed himself to the public.  This method of being taken seriously by the Norm’s medical community has been largely scoffed at by Stinky Scientists.”

In the meantime, we are glad that the news is out, to all communities, and hope that this breakthrough will be taken seriously by the Norms and the Non-Pick Stinkies alike.